Why not just be? Why Mormon women should stop with the labels.

I recently read an article written by one of the thousands of "Mommy bloggers" out there about how she is a "Mormon misfit."  And I was left scratching my head wondering, yeah, who isn't? 

So why do we all try to either stand out or fit in?  Aren't they one in the same?  Why not just BE?

I've felt the same as many of you self proclaimed misfits.  I've felt like I didn't belong, couldn't relate, and wasn't in the same boat or even on the same planet as "other Mormon women".  Until I realized, not only are we all "those other Mormon women", but  IT DOESN'T MATTER.  Yep, that is right.  It doesn't matter.  It doesn't matter if I have zero children or 15.  It doesn't matter if I have tattoos, strange hair, or a super "Mormon mommy" style.  It doesn't matter unless I want it to.  And I don't.

If you feel out of place at church, or among other members of the LDS faith, you need to do some soul searching.  Is it really that you are a "misfit", or is it that you are making yourself feel like one?  Do you really think that others are judging you for not being perfect, or is it that others are wondering if you are judging them?  Take a step back, and a longer, harder look.  Most likely you'll find that everyone feels like that sometime in their lives.  If you are a "Mormon misfit", then so is everyone else in the church.  There are no "misfits", only a collection of individuals who are flawed, and for the most part, doing their best to become better.

We see ourselves as a tiny dot that stands out in a crowd, so obviously different. 

 Sometimes we feel like our differences are embarrassing, and make us somehow less of a good Mormon; less of a person.

But just like we need a toilet amongst a mid of other chairs, we need a whole bunch of different personalities, skills, and styles to make the world go round, and our church to become the best it can be. 

We are all different, and we NEED the diversity in the church.  The members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints need to work harder at dropping the labels of "good Mormon" and "Mormon misfit" and starting just being yourself.  I want to attend a church where I see all sorts of characters.  Short, tall, fat, thin.  People with talents in music, and people with talents in photography.  People who are amazing at teaching little children, and people who are terrible with children but are trying to be better.  After all, I am one of those.... and heck (yes I said heck) I have two children of my own!  Isn't that what this life is about?  Trying to be better?  Trying to learn and improve and someday, maybe, if we work really hard, become perfect? 

No one is perfect in this life.  We all make mistakes, worry about others judging us, and worry that we don't fit in.  But we don't need to.  We can just accept that we aren't perfect, we aren't ever going to be like everyone else, and CELEBRATE the differences.  Celebrating is FUN!  And being a group of people who have different talents and abilities is fun.  Being with people who can teach life lessons from their experiences is not only fun, but good for all of us. Imagine how missionary work would ADVANCE if people weren't afraid to come to a church that had only ONE TYPE OF ACCEPTABLE PERSON??  We teach that God loves us all, as we are.  He loves and accepts everyone.  We should too.  People would flock to the church if they knew they'd be accepted and loved and CELEBRATED.  So what are we waiting for??? 

Honesty time!  I'm not perfect at this.  I have those moments where I feel like I'm inadequate.  I'm not great at a lot of things other gals in my ward are.  But I've learned to just be okay with that.  It is so freeing to say to someone, "I'm terrible at sewing, crafts, singing, (insert your weakness here)".  From there, you can either try to improve in those areas, or just let it go.  After all, there are some things that many LDS women love that I don't care at all about.  I'm sure the same goes for you.  You just have to be okay with it, and life will be AMAZING!  Trust me.  There is freedom in letting yourself JUST BE. 

Be a little better.  Develop in yourself the qualities you want to have.  Your best is YOUR best.  Who cares if it is not Jane's best, or Sara's best?  It is YOUR best.  Own it.  Own you.  Take a deep breath, and JUST BE.