I Don't Like Your Kids.... And Other Things I Am Afraid to Admit

"It is not that I HATE children...."

"Kids are okay and all....."

"I love my children dearly, but...." 

These are all qualifiers I have put before statements I've made regarding my discomfort around children.  

Here is the truth.  I don't like kids.  

And..... Que the screaming, horrified ladies in the Relief Society. 

Don't get me wrong.  I don't HATE children.  I won't swerve to hit them in the streets, or laugh when they get hurt.  (uh.... okay I laugh occasionally)  After all, I do have two of them.  It would be irresponsible to have children that I actively hate.  I love my children.  I love yours too; in the sense that I love all living creatures, but I do not like your children.  

Quit judging me baby! 

I've never been a woman who wanted children, or was all that nurturing by nature.  I have a lot of love to give, but when you put other people's children in the mix, I stand there looking like I've got a serious case of the Screaming Mimi's I'm trying to hold in.  (For you non-southerners, Screaming Mimi's is a HILARIOUS term I learned referring to.... diarrhea.  Feel free to use it in your day to day life and watch as people are charmed by your southern slang). 

My face, around your children ^^^^^^^^^^^^^

You see, not all of us Mormon Moms, (or Mormoms as I like to refer to those special ladies who can do no Mommy wrong) are all that good at working with kids.  And yet, we feel obligated to pretend we LOVE LOVE LOVE and ADORE all children.  Primary is such a WONDERFUL calling and Nursery isn't our own version of Hell.  We suffer in silence, trying our best to acclimate to Mormon Culture.   We don't feel it is okay to say we don't like to work with kids, because we are SUPPOSED to get teary eyed as we recall the many special spiritual experiences we've had wiping butts and watching kids eat their boogers while we make futile attempts to keep them quiet during sharing time.  

You think it is charming, I think it is nasty as Hell. 

Why is it that we admit we all have special talents and abilities, and yet no one wants to admit that they aren't all that great with kids?  We are made to feel guilty for not wanting to be stuck around a bunch of kids we don't like for three hours.  People make assumptions that we HATE children, when merely it is that we just prefer to be around big humans.  We are also looked at like we must be terrible parents since we don't like children.  So let me be clear.  

"I LOVE MY CHILDREN.  I JUST DON'T LIKE YOURS."  

Nothing personal my friend.  I dislike all people's children just the same.  

So here I am, taking a stand for Mormon Women everywhere of the same mindset as myself.  Don't be afraid to admit you aren't all that fond of little Jimmy and Jane.  Most likely, you will find other ladies out there who are struggling with those same feelings.  

We are all here on this earth to become refined.  We are not sent to earth as perfect beings.  Some people seem more prone to be fabulous with children, and others more prone to be fabulous with adults.  Some can even do both!  Imagine that!!  But ALL of us are working on our weaknesses.  Liking children just happens to be one of mine.  I'm not ashamed, and I don't beat myself up about it, but I do want to improve.

I read an article in Cosmo Magazine not long ago titled, "Why So Many Women Hate Babies".  http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/news/a31876/why-so-many-women-hate-babies/

Originally I thought I would relate to these women.  Instead, I was disappointed that they portrayed such a selfish and brittle group of women.  Not like me or the other wonderful ladies out there who I know are trying to love children more perfectly.  Alas, there are women like that out there.  But the majority of Mormon women I know are not like that.  And we don't want to be.  So have a little faith in us!

In a nutshell, don't judge me because your children are awful.  JUST KIDDING WITH YOU!  But really, I don't like them.  Yet.